Nintendo worried America doesn’t have enough cupboard space for the Wii U

With the Wii and its numerous peripherals already estimated to be occupying 85% of the nation’s cupboard space, Nintendo is increasingly anxious that consumers simply won’t have anywhere to put its next console – the Wii U.

“It’s a big problem”, admitted Reggie Fils-Aime, Nintendo of America’s President and chief operating officer. “Whereas people generally like to keep their Xboxes and PlayStations under the TV, the Wii is almost always given pride of place in the cupboard, usually right at the back. American consumers are no doubt looking at the Wii U and thinking: ‘damn that’s hot, but is my cupboard really big enough for another Nintendo console?’”

Data obtained during the 2010 census indicated that the average American household cupboard contains 3.221 Wiis, a statistic Nintendo took into account during the development of its forthcoming console.

“We’ve designed the Wii U from the ground up to be completely cupboard friendly”, Reggie explained. “Whether it’s a mahogany corner cupboard, a rare 19th century Victorian cabinet or just something you picked up from IKEA, you can be sure that the Wii U will compliment your preferred home storage solution perfectly.”

To address the issue of space, Nintendo is encouraging Wii owners to consider relocating their prized machines, however emotionally daunting that might be.

“We know many owners will have spent quite some time finding the perfect spot in the cupboard for their Wii”, Reggie continued. “But the time has probably come to consider dusting it off and moving it to a new location, perhaps the garage or the attic?”

The Wii U is expected to be released during late 2012 in North America, Europe and Japan.

5 Comments

  1. “Wii U will compliment your preferred home storage solution perfectly” – :)

  2. xXFloydianXx says:

    Is this article serious? Or just a joke? 0_o

  3. Erm…
    Will it be plastic bag friendly?

  4. These articles are awesome, especially when you’re bored at work ^^

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