Village’s catchy theme music helps boost tourism

A small, nondescript trading village has reported a dramatic increase in the number of lingering visitors thanks to its theme music being just so damn good.

Residents of Etrova, who are accustomed to the passing trade of travelers looking to stock up on weapons and magical artifacts before journeying out into the world beyond, say that a growing number of adventurers are choosing to remain in town, wandering or standing around for days on end in some cases, because, as one person who makes a living collecting monsters and training them to fight explained, “the theme music here is fucking great!”

Among the growing number of adventurers killing time in the quaint but otherwise completely forgettable town are a young boy and his fairy companion from a nearby forest, a band of angsty teenage mercenaries looking for work, and a mystical white wolf.

“We’re on the hunt for a dangerous man who’s trying to get his hands on an ancient power that will allow him to siphon off the souls of all life on the planet or something”, said one spiky-haired adventurer. “But after hearing the awesome music here we decided to stick around for a couple of days to just enjoy it.”

An armor-clad warrior, who our reporter found sat on the ground humming and swaying along with the distinctive jingle, agreed that the village’s theme music was pretty catchy.

“I concede that I am wasting time”, he said. “The dragons will soon come and rain hellfire down upon this mortal land, and whilst I must seek guidance from the Elders who reside in the high mountains of Faregor, I am smitten by the peaceful melody that echoes through this tranquil place.”

However, some residents claim they don’t understand what the big fuss is about.

“I’m actually completely sick of it”, admitted one long-time resident. “The bloody thing just loops round and round. Sometimes you think it’s finally stopped then… BANG! There it goes again. It’s driving me fucking crazy.

“I’ve been to other towns and their music sometimes changes, you know, like after a horrible event or when I’m having some sort of weird flashback. But ours is always the same, day after day, month after month. I really don’t know how much longer I can take it.”


  1. God I love this site :)

  2. This is such a fantastic article. I hope you guys get the recognition your work deserves.

  3. This reminds me of the main town in Witcher 1. I didn’t want to leave the town because of the soundtrack “Peaceful moments”

  4. Am I the only one who found the music in Lavender town catchy?

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