Everything boring except zombies say gamers

September 27, 2012 10:18 pm

Video games that don’t feature zombies are shit, it has emerged.

A study conducted by Oxford University has revealed that video games featuring anything other than the shambling undead are met with complete indifference by modern gamers, with many actually becoming completely overwhelmed with boredom mere seconds after being exposed to non-zombie related content.

The research team also discovered that the question gamers were most likely to ask themselves when deciding whether to purchase a new video game was “can I kill zombies?” shortly followed by “is there a mod that will let me kill zombies?”

“Whether they’re Nazi zombies, Wild West zombies or just your ordinary garden zombies, it’s blindingly clear that gamers simply love zombies”, said Dr Liz Healey, the brains behind the 3-year study.

“When presented with a wide selection of games and asked to select the one they’d most like to play, we found that the vast majority of gamers immediately selected the one with the most living dead.

“There was one occasion when a test subject selected Ridge Racer Vita, a title renowned for its lack of zombies, but it turned out he thought we’d asked him to select the game he’d most like to see shot into the sun.”

The findings of the study have been welcomed by video game publishers, many of which have long been of the view that the only thing more exciting than zombies is more zombies.

“Zombies are like brown shoes, they go with everything”, said Robert Kotick, president and CEO of Activision.

“It doesn’t matter whether your new game’s about World War 2, building pointless things out of blocks, or the Japanese mafia – I can guarantee that zombies will compliment it perfectly.

“I mean, you’d have to be brain dead to release a game without zombies! Get it? Brain dead! Like a zombie… right?”


5 Comments

  • Reminds me of World at War when u had to complete the game b4 u got the Zombie mode… urghhh… hated that campaign.

  • I really really hate zombies. They’re the least creative thing you can have in a game.
    I can also add that I hate shooters. Why there are so many games when you shoot people? Is shooting others so important to us?

    • There’s also plenty of games where you don’t shoot people. Is not shooting people so important to us?

    • Maybe people think it’s fun to play those games. Ever thought of that? I enjoy shooting virtual people.

  • Zombies are the least creative thing you have in a game? Really? Try Left 4 Dead 2.

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