Speaking at a press conference at the developer’s headquarters in Santa Monica, California, Treyarch Community Manager Josh Olin assured guests that the latest installment in the Call of Duty franchise would feature well over a hundred hilarious, game-breaking exploits, each more thrilling than the next.
“If you thought the hacks in Modern Warfare 3 were off the hook, wait until you get your hands on Black Ops 2,” boasted the excited executive.
“Whether you’re the type of player that enjoys turning invisible, sniping people from outside the map or awarding yourself millions of ill-gotten experience points, I can guarantee that you’re going to absolutely fucking love Black Ops 2.
“Whereas lesser games often force new and inexperienced players to spend countless hours honing their skills and developing their strategy, our glitches will ensure that even the most cack-handed of players will have no difficulty dominating the battlefield right from the outset.
“Keep getting killed by that sniper? Why not turn his gun into a sausage? Having difficulty breaking through enemy lines? Why not call in a herd of elephants? The possibilities really are almost limitless thanks to our innovative patch system which will allow us to keep adding maddening exploits long after release.”