Hitler would have been influenced by violent video games say researchers

hitler_videogamesAdolf Hitler, maniacal dictator of Nazi Germany and murderer of millions, would almost certainly have been influenced by violent video games had they existed, it has emerged.

In yet another blow for the much-maligned industry, researchers at the University of Cambridge, England, have confirmed that had controversial video games such as Grand Theft Auto 4, Saints Row: The Third and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 been available in the 1930s, Hitler’s reign of terror would have been significantly more brutal.

“Whilst it would be ridiculous to suggest that video games actually caused World War II, our research undoubtedly proves that they would have done had they been invented in time”, said Dr Fiona Rowston, Head of Historical Research at the prestigious University.

“Not only that, but if Hitler, Himmler, Goebbels, and other prominent members of the SS had been regular gamers, our data suggests that World War II would have happened earlier, lasted longer and involved at least one giant, genetically engineered super-Nazi with glowing eyes and machine gun arms.”

Spurred on by their initial findings, the research team now plan to investigate whether other bloody historical conflicts such as the Napoleonic Wars, the American Civil War and the Norman Conquest could also, hypothetically, have been caused by violent video games.

“What we’re learning is that video games aren’t just responsible for modern day atrocities, but that they would likely have been responsible for some of history’s most violent conflicts, had they been around at the time”, Dr Rowston continued.

“Parents need to be asking themselves, ‘do I want my children playing games that could have inspired Genghis Khan to massacre the civilian populations of Eurasia?, or ‘am I happy for them to be exposed to content that might have convinced Mao Zedong to instigate China’s disastrous Cultural Revolution?’

“I think the answer is obvious.”

18 Comments

  1. Oh this is too brilliant :)

  2. Well, if time machine was developed sometimes in future, then they could have been influenced.

  3. My eyes have been raped by what I just read. Can’t blame those Cambridge researchers, though. It’s clearly video games that did it.

  4. Well they can say anything they want when they are debating alternative history. However men that rise to that level of power will see and hear things that put anything that has ever been placed into a video game thus far to shame. Its interesting to play with history and the ideas of what violence can do to weak minded individuals, under this logic the “torture” at abu grad prison would have been much more violent in nature.

    This is an old argument given new life to help weak willed individuals deal with a world where awful things have to have a cause that can be fought and destroyed. This is not true because men like Hitler, osama bin laden, Joseph Rao Kony, are not created and influenced by a single source but by a lifetime of input of every kind.

    besides video games take a culture that is more advanced technologically, economically, and haw a social environment that allows for free time to be dedicated to a past time that is effectively non needed. In America we live in one of the most peaceful countries in the world, and most of the developed world can say the same. The true atrocities and crimes that have happen and continue to happen are in cultures that on average do not play alot of video games.

  5. Gotta love Poe’s Law.

  6. To be fair there are a lot of great things that would of come from video games had they been invented. The Great Wall of China for example was clearly made by someone who would play Tower Defense games.
    And lets not forget the obvious link between the New York skyline and what people may of created if Sim City had been released.

  7. Perhaps Hitler would have lived his frustrations through the worlds of Call of Duty. Thereby pacifying her murderous rage!

    • “Her murderous rage!”

      If Hitler was a woman why did she think woman’s role was in the kitchen?

      **facepalms**

  8. He would not be playing any call of duty/medal of honor game for sure.

  9. And had the man played Mass Effect and developed a moral compass, he might have been a HERO.

    • Hitler would for sure be a renegade.

      —MAJOR SPOILERS—

      He’d kill Wrex
      Shoot Saren
      Let Udina take the spot on the council
      Let his entire team die during the suicide mission ((except for two))
      Leave David Archer with his brother
      Shoot Mordin or whoever is in his place in the back
      Kill Ashley/Kaiden
      Geth wipe out Quarrians
      Shoots Illusive man
      Stays away from Grissom accademy
      Goes with destroy ending DESPIE this.

  10. Was ist das?! Ich habe dich Call of Duty!

  11. Sir Trollsalot says:

    All your research PROVES is that Cambridge, somehow and for some reason, has some pretty stupid researchers and that your “research” was funded by groups advocating less violence in video games. Kill yourself, Dr. Fiona Rowston.*

    *DISCLAIMER: “Kill yourself” comment NOT inspired by recently playing Resident Evil.

  12. Oussama Benladen says:

    true , my minions played alot combat flight simulator 1 before the 11 september 2001

  13. I believe that IF videogames existed, he would likely stayed at home playing those games, flushing his fustration, and WW2 would not even happened.

    • And since videogames as they are are mostly inspired by WWII and what came after, video games would be totally different.

      I guess such assumptions could continue for ever. SO what are we waiting for, let’s bring video games to Hitler ! Jump in the time machine !

  14. And now they should say HOW they came to this enlightenment.. Pfff, unbelievable. HOW can they know it would have affected them and HOW would they know that they would even become such “important” people when they would go full retard. CoD doesn’t make you more intelligent you know. Maybe Hitler wouldn’t even be able to make so many people think he’s the right man for Germany. Maybe he would be seen as one stupid CoD-kid xD I don’t get it. Do they have some kind of time-machine so they could try it out? -.- Now I’ve wasted a huge amount of time, thank you.

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