Sony insists the PS4 will have fuck all games to block anyway

January 5, 2013 7:14 pm

used_gamesIn response to the controversy surrounding its patenting of used-game blocking technology, Sony has assured angry gamers that, much like its predecessor, the PS4 would have fuck all worth playing anyway.

Following the discovery of the patent by a user on NeoGAF, there has been feverish speculation that the technology will spell the end of affordable gaming on Sony’s future consoles. Whilst the company has yet to officially confirm or deny these suspicions, SCEA president Jack Tretton has insisted that, either way, consumers were unlikely to notice .

“Despite our notorious track record, there seems to be this misconception that the PS4 will launch with games that people, real normal people, will actually want to play”, laughed Tretton.

“I mean, cast your mind back to 2006. Doesn’t anyone remember Genji: Days of the Blade? Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire? What about Blazing Angels: Squadrons of WWII? Seriously, you’d have to be batshit insane to go out and intentionally buy this sort of shit, new or used!”

Recomposing himself, Tretton added: “Anyway, even if we do decide to introduce this used-game blocking thingamajig, I imagine that by the time a developer gets to grips with our convoluted system architecture and actually makes something worth playing, some smug virgin will have already cracked our security codes and published them on the internet.”


1 Comment

  • I’ve just stumbled upon your site and you really have a lot of gems and good humour. You know better than I do, that humour when backed with truths is funnier, but you know really well that PS4 will have games people want to play along the course even if you don’t think it will have good launch titles and that blocking used games would not be confined to just launch titles. It is not even possible that PS4 will have fuck all games to play, so this reduces the fun factor of this piece to the point of -9000.

    Therefore, this article fails to meet the quality of other content on your site. Sorry for taking humour so seriously!

Leave a Reply


Other News

  • Featured Gaming Peter Molyneux promises big things for next Fable game

    Peter Molyneux promises big things for next Fable game

    Earlier today former Lionhead Studios director Peter Molyneux held a Skype conference with a small group of carefully selected gaming journalists and bloggers, including the Daily Pixel.

    Whilst no reason was given for the impromptu conference, the Jack of Blades mask Molyneux was wearing immediately raised hopes that his current studio, 22Cans, would be doing some kind of collaboration with Lionhead Studios on a Fable Project.

    Read more →
  • Featured Gaming Kid terrified big box under Christmas tree might be a Wii U

    Kid terrified big box under Christmas tree might be a Wii U

    With the big day now little over a week away, 10-year-old Sam Harris has grown increasingly concerned that the large blue present sitting under the Christmas tree might be a Wii U.

    Despite months of extolling the merits of the PS4, Sam remains convinced that his well-meaning parents have nevertheless mistakenly purchased Nintendo’s troubled console.

    Read more →
  • Featured Gaming PS4 requires sacrifice of small animal to enable key features, says Sony

    PS4 requires sacrifice of small animal to enable key features, says Sony

    Sony today confirmed that the PS4 will require a blood sacrifice to enable key features such as MP3, CD and 3D Blu-ray support.

    Gamers had this week reacted with surprise to the news that the console would not be shipping with full functionality, but in a statement Sony Worldwide Studios boss Shuhei Yoshida reassured prospective owners that all features would be available after a short blood soaked voodoo ritual.

    Read more →
  • Featured Gaming Mysterious improvement in children’s behavior following announcement of PS4 release date

    Mysterious improvement in children’s behavior following announcement of PS4 release date

    Parents across America have reported sudden and baffling improvements in their children’s behavior following Sony’s announcement that the PS4 will hit stores on 15 November 2013.

    Moms and dads have been left perplexed as their previously angsty and uncooperative offspring have transformed into doting little angels, willing to undertake all manner of household chores without complaint.

    Read more →
  • Featured Gaming PS4 and Xbox One still not powerful enough to do legs, says Infinity Ward

    PS4 and Xbox One still not powerful enough to do legs, says Infinity Ward

    Having recently outlined some of the graphical improvements found in the PS4 and Xbox One renditions of Call of Duty: Ghosts, Infinity Ward today confirmed that the new consoles were still not powerful enough to give players visible legs.

    Executive producer Mark Rubin told The Daily Pixel that whilst the next-gen versions of the popular first-person shooter franchise would feature significantly improved dynamic lighting and displacement mapping, gamers would unfortunately still have to play as ghostly floating, legless torsos.

    Read more →
  • Featured Gaming “It better fucking have Bigfoot in it”, gamers tell Rockstar

    “It better fucking have Bigfoot in it”, gamers tell Rockstar

    Rockstar can take GTA 5′s exciting new gameplay features and shove them up its ass unless it has Bigfoot in it, gamers have said.

    Despite announcements that the latest installment will feature the biggest map yet, extensive customization options, destructible environments, scuba diving and much more, gamers have said that unless they have the opportunity to see the legendary Sasquatch they don’t actually give a shit.

    Read more →
  • Featured Gaming Shareholders win console war!

    Shareholders win console war!

    With the current generation of consoles coming to a close, PS3 and Xbox 360 owners were today shocked to discover that it was savvy investors with actual shares in Sony and Microsoft that had won the console war, not the legions of unwashed fanboys that had spent the last six years feverishly debating the merits of their preferred system.

    Read more →
  • The Secret Diary of Max Payne World The Secret Diary of Max Payne: Day as a children’s entertainer

    The Secret Diary of Max Payne: Day as a children’s entertainer

    Dear Diary I’ve faced down psychopaths armed with rocket launchers, spitting hatred at me from behind a teflon shield while I pump them full of bullets. I’ve broken a man’s arm, then beat him to death with the wet squishy end. I even fired an old lady out of a confetti cannon through a chain link fence (wait, that was another game…damn). But nothing I’ve faced so far compares to the day I started my new job. “It’s easy Max” […]

    Read more →