Gaming

Burying crappy games in the desert now a viable marketing strategy say publishers

Burying crappy games in the desert now a viable marketing strategy say publishers

With news that a cache of Atari games previously buried in the New Mexico desert are selling for up to $1500 a piece on Ebay, video game publishers are rushing to adopt the hot new marketing technique for their own titles. 

Whilst the industry has historically relied upon multi-million dollar advertising campaigns to raise awareness and improve sales, many publishers say that throwing everything into a landfill and then denying it ever happened is actually far more effective. 

Gamers to boycott all future Ubisoft games, except maybe Far Cry 4

Gamers to boycott all future Ubisoft games, except maybe Far Cry 4

Still reeling from the Assassin’s Creed Unity fiasco, a number of gamers have sworn to boycott all future Ubisoft games without exception, except maybe Far Cry 4.

Those taking part in the boycott hope to send a strong message to Ubisoft that the gaming community will no longer tolerate review embargoes, bug-ridden releases, greedy micro-transactions and developer arrogance, except on occasions when a game turns out to be pretty darn good.

That’s just what the old days were like, says Ubisoft

That’s just what the old days were like, says Ubisoft

Ubisoft has insisted that randomly falling through the ground, collapsing into impossible positions and having your face completely vanish were actually extremely common occurrences at the time of the French Revolution. 

The developer has been severely criticized for what many have perceived as wide-ranging glitches in the blockbuster video game Assassin’s Creed: Unity, but Ubisoft are adamant that it was simply striving for historical accuracy. 

Assassin’s Creed Unity powered by PowerPoint, says Ubisoft

Assassin’s Creed Unity powered by PowerPoint, says Ubisoft

Following a barrage of criticism concerning the abysmal framerate of Assassin’s Creed Unity, Ubisoft was today forced to admit that the game is powered by PowerPoint 2003.

Initial reviews of the much anticipated title have revealed significant performance problems on both the PS4 and Xbox One, with some gamers reporting framerates as low as 18fps during busy segments of gameplay.

Microsoft reveals Halo 5 actually a Christian boy band

Microsoft reveals Halo 5 actually a Christian boy band

Microsoft today confirmed that Halo 5 would in fact be a boy band comprising of five happy-go-lucky hunks with silky smooth voices and a love of god in their hearts, not the first person shooter many had expected.

In what commentators are calling a radical departure from the franchise’s roots, Halo 5 will make their debut in late 2015 with the single “Guardians”, a poignant synth-pop power ballad that tells the story of how the boys found Jesus on Xbox Live.

Just kill me, says DriveClub

Just kill me, says DriveClub

Sony’s troubled racing game has begged its creators to end its miserable existence. 

The title has said it cannot face another day after realizing that it will never be the sprawling, open-world racer the public desires, with its only chance of acceptance as a free PSN download looking increasingly unlikely. 

David Blaine to begin gruelling download of Halo: The Master Chief Collection’s day one patch

David Blaine to begin gruelling download of Halo: The Master Chief Collection’s day one patch

David Blaine, the illusionist famous for his incredible feats of human endurance, has announced his intention to download Halo: The Master Chief Collection’s gargantuan day one patch.

Available today to those that pre-ordered the game digitally, the update is believed to weigh in at an eye-watering 15GB, with experts warning that the magician will likely be pushed to the very edge of his mental and physical limits.

Bungie to start charging Destiny players for other things they already own

Bungie to start charging Destiny players for other things they already own

With gamers still reeling from the discovery that Destiny’s pricey expansion The Dark Below is at least partially contained on the retail disc, Bungie today risked adding further fuel to the fire after announcing its intention to start charging players for other things they already own.

Cheapskates eagerly await introduction of PS4 SharePlay

Cheapskates eagerly await introduction of PS4 SharePlay

Stingy penny pinchers have reacted with delight to the news that as of today they will be able to play other people’s video games completely free of charge via the PS4’s new SharePlay function.

With firmware update 2.0 now available for download, freeloaders the world over have reportedly already begun relentlessly bugging their friends for a go on all the games they were too cheap to buy themselves.

Alien Isolation player adamant he’s perfectly happy in locker

Alien Isolation player adamant he’s perfectly happy in locker

26-year-old Alan Webb last night insisted that he was having “loads of fun” playing Alien Isolation, despite having spent the last 3 days in a locker.

Speaking exclusively to The Daily Pixel, Mr Webb strenuously denied rumours that he found the game too scary, contending that he was simply taking in the atmosphere and didn’t feel the need to rush things.