Microsoft confident all future technology to involve waving your arms around like a fucking crazy person

October 11, 2012 4:31 pm

Having unveiled their prototype hand-gesture sensor on Tuesday, researchers at Microsoft’s UK-based computer science laboratory are confident that all technology will soon be controlled by waving your arms around like some sort of whack job.

With fast and exciting developments in gesture recognition, Microsoft scientists believe that it’s only a matter of time until even the simplest of tasks, such as turning on a light, making toast or flushing the toilet, will be accomplished through wild, gorilla-like arm flapping.

“Our wrist-worn sensor has the potential to revolutionize the way that people interact with technology”, said project leader David Kim.

“Whereas you might currently turn your television on using a remote control, with our gesture sensor you can simply stick a finger in your ear and smack an imaginary button in the middle of your forehead.

“You could even tap out numbers on a make-believe number pad to call someone on your cell without actually having to take it out your pocket. Fuck knows how you’d talk to them, but who the hell cares when you’re basically Tom Cruise from Minority Report.”

With the technology likely to become commercially available within the next few years, analysts expect it to be popular among Kinect users and other people with no self-respect.


4 Comments

  • haha! gold!

  • When I got a new Xbox ((I had one before and it in short broke, sadly I sold all of my games in the process :( )) I was offered to get Kinect with it. My mother was all like “well the guy said that it’s the best thing.”

    I still said no, and I am very, very glad that I rejected getting Kinect. I was also glad to get a new Xbox Live account set up. Again the guy suggested that I just use my old one.

  • But aren’t “Fucking Crazy People” already the main demographic for kinect sales?

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